{"id":6915,"date":"2026-01-20T10:28:02","date_gmt":"2026-01-20T10:28:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/farmoderm.it\/ostomy-sexuality-10-tips-for-fearless-intimacy\/"},"modified":"2026-01-20T10:28:02","modified_gmt":"2026-01-20T10:28:02","slug":"ostomy-sexuality-10-tips-for-fearless-intimacy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/farmoderm.it\/en\/ostomy-sexuality-10-tips-for-fearless-intimacy\/","title":{"rendered":"Ostomy &amp; Sexuality: 10+ tips for fearless intimacy"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&#8220;I will never have sex again &#8211; ever.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&#8220;Who would want to sleep with a person with an ostomy?&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&#8220;My sex life is ruined. I will end up alone.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is probably one of the first thoughts that came to your mind after your ostomy surgery. <\/span><b>It is understandable<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Now, after surgery, you have a pouch hanging from your stomach, and it is normal to have insecurities or to lose some confidence in yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><i>But you should know that ostomy and sexual intercourse are not incompatible.<\/i><\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">  If you have a stoma, you can still maintain a healthy and active sex life without restrictions.  <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You can continue to enjoy intimate moments as a couple without worrying about your ostomy.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, if you are wondering whether you can remain sexually active after ostomy surgery? We&#8217;ll answer you right now: <\/span><b>YES!<\/b><\/p>\n<h2>Table of Contents:<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"#inti1\">Communication with your partner is key to improving intimacy<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#inti2\">15 tips for safe sex without sacrificing pleasure<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#inti3\">Being and feeling sexy<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#inti4\">Contraception and fertility<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#inti5\">Ostomy and homosexuality<\/a><b><\/b><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#inti6\">Frequently asked questions<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>When can I return to sexual intercourse after ostomy surgery?<\/p>\n<p>You can resume sexual activity about 3 weeks after surgery (you might also seek your doctor&#8217;s advice). You need not worry about any complications since sexual dysfunction after ostomy surgery is more of a psychological problem than a physical one. <\/p>\n<p>How do other ostomates deal with sexuality?<\/p>\n<p>Seventy percent* of ostomates who resumed their sexual activity after surgery had no problems.<\/p>\n<p>Fifty percent* of people, who gave up sex after surgery, did so primarily because of fear of rejection, negative body image, and low self-esteem.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Talking is everything &#8211; Partner communication<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>Whether you are dating someone new or already intimate with a partner, communication is the key to having good sex with a smooth ostomy.<\/p>\n<p>If your partner does not know what an ostomy is, how can you expect them to behave normally? Be sure to explain to them what it is and how the pouch that comes out of the belly works. When they understand your condition, they will feel more comfortable. They will see that it is not such a big problem. It does not affect your sex life. If you have been together for a long time, you can take the opportunity to both of you learn about your condition. Find out together what works and what doesn&#8217;t. It is an opportunity to bond and become more intimate together.       <\/p>\n<p>Here is a list of things you should talk about for comfortable and enjoyable intimacy with an ostomy:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Your condition: Teach your partner what an ostomy is. Explain how it works. Explain that if you touch or rub your body against the pouch, you will not die.  <\/li>\n<li>Make sure he knows that it is a simple orifice that normally requires no special attention or care during sex.<\/li>\n<li>Concerns: Talk to your partner about what concerns you have about your ostomy. Leakage, bad odors, and negative body image are all legitimate concerns that can be talked about. Your partner is likely to fully understand.  <\/li>\n<li>Painful positions: Let your partner know which positions are most comfortable for you now that you have an ostomy.<\/li>\n<li>Sexual problems: Whether it is vaginal dryness or pain (women) or erection problems (men), let your partner know what they can do to help you.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Women<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Some women may experience vaginal dryness, bleeding, or pain in the early days after surgery.<\/p>\n<p>Although these are all normal things, be sure to inform your partner so that he or she does not think he or she is doing something wrong.<\/p>\n<p>Numerous intimacy lubricants are available that can be used until the situation is back to normal.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Men<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Some men may experience erectile dysfunction after surgery.<\/p>\n<p>This may be related to the surgery itself, but it is usually more related to loss of self-confidence and associated performance anxiety. In case you haven&#8217;t heard this before: it happens to everyone. <\/p>\n<p>In any case, whether you are ostomised or not, talk to your partner about your sexual desires, give feedback, share your fantasies, discuss the problems and fears you have. These are all essential to improving your sex life. <\/p>\n<p>There is no need to think about it too much. Your partner will understand that this is a normal physiological event and that it is not a big deal. You just need to talk about it openly. Focus on having fun instead of worrying about your appearance and performance. In time, you will return to top form. If the problem persists (and chances are it will not), numerous therapies can help.     <\/p>\n<p>In any case, the most important thing to know is that you have to be positive. You must accept and love your stoma. Once your partner sees how secure and comfortable you are with your ostomy, it will no longer get in the way of your sexual relationship<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.So, as you may have guessed, many times the limits for ostomates are self-imposed. &#8220;Easier said than done,&#8221; you might think;<\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> however, don&#8217;t worry, in this article we will give you all the advice you will need to experience these intimate moments to the fullest. <\/span><\/i>   <\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This article covers topics such as communicating with your partner, feeling attractive, and contraceptive methods&#8211;for men and women. In addition, we have collected 15 spicy tips to help you improve your sexual relationships.   <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The data were taken from <\/span><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ostomy.org\/mens-health-sexual-issues-and-fertility-with-an-ostomy-or-ibd\/\">a study published <\/a><\/strong><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">by the United Ostomy Association of America, Inc. conducted on 100 male ostomates who were sexually active before their surgery. <\/span> <\/p>\n<h2><a id=\"inti2\"><\/a>15 tips for safe sex without sacrificing pleasure<\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Below, in addition to collecting specific advice for men and women, we have also selected spicy tips to stimulate your sexual relations and give you the opportunity to experience unforgettable moments of pleasure without having to worry about your ostomy:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Empty your bag: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Having sex with a full ileostomy, urostomy or colostomy bag is a bad idea. It may rupture.<\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Imagine stopping in the middle of intercourse to clean the poop out of your partner.<\/span><\/i><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Even if it doesn&#8217;t break, the bag will be in the way and could ruin the intimate moment. <\/span><b><i>So, always try to empty your garrison before intercourse. <\/i><\/b> <\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Make sure your bag is firmly secured to your abdomen: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Before intercourse, make sure your collection system is well placed and adheres firmly to your peristomal skin to avoid any mishaps along the way. If you prefer, use a belly band or bag-covering belt to keep your collection system firmly secured to your abdomen. <\/span> <\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Experiment with different positions:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> After ostomy surgery, you may not feel comfortable with your old positions. Be sure to try new positions and see which ones you feel most comfortable with. Above? Below? Sideways tilt? See which one works best for you and your stoma.<\/span><\/li>\n<li aria-level=\"1\">Avoid <b>creating excessive pressure on your garment:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> if you like to be on top, <\/span>lean to the side opposite your ostomy to avoid any friction or pressure.<\/li>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>Consider using sexy underwear: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">you can spice up your sex life with ostomy underwear (see below).<\/span><\/li>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>Prevent bad odor from escaping from the ostomy: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Bad odor could spoil the intimate moment, so better to prevent it. Use an ostomy bag that has a filter and a deodorizer specifically for ostomy garments. <\/span> <\/li>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>Have a sense of humor:<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Air leaking out of your stoma? You can both laugh about it. Try to experience these awkward situations with humor; it will help you relax and enjoy the intimate moment. <\/span> <\/li>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>Name your ostomy<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">: give your ostomy a cute name, this will help make things much more natural and eliminate any embarrassment when some problems arise.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We asked a group of ostomates to reveal to us the nickname they gave to their ostomy, here are some of the best ones: Dino, Rosetta, Cesarino, Strawberry, Joy, Mia, Gut, Polly, Smurf and Lovely Fatty. <\/span> <\/li>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>Control your output: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you plan to have an intimate relationship with your partner soon, pay special attention to your diet so that you avoid foods that stimulate your ostomy (such as fruits, vegetables and beans etc.). Check out our articles on what to eat if you have a <\/span><strong>colostomy<\/strong><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> or an<\/span><strong>ileostomy<\/strong><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Alternatively, you can try colostomy irrigation to control evacuations. <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In<strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/farmoderm.it\/?p=1681\">this article<\/a><\/strong><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> we explain step by step how to perform this procedure. <\/span> <\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><b>Specific advice for men with ostomy<\/b><b><\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>Enjoy the moment. <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Unfortunately, erectile dysfunction is not uncommon among men who have undergone ostomy surgery, however, this problem is mainly related to performance anxiety and negative self-perception. <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To deal with this problem, try to avoid states of agitation. To regain serenity in the sexual sphere, focus on the moment of intimacy with your partner and avoid thinking about anything else, this is definitely the best way to combat performance anxiety. <\/span> <\/li>\n<li><b>Masturbate. <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yes, you read that right. If you are not having sex, masturbation can have multiple beneficial effects on your health. Also, if you have a partner, autoeroticism is a great way to see that you are not suffering from any erectile problems.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><b>Specific advice for women with ostomy<\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><b>Use an intimate lubricant if you experience vaginal dryness or painful penetration. <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">After ostomy surgery, you may experience problems with vaginal dryness. In such cases, try an intimate lubricant; there are many types and they help reduce friction during sexual activities.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><b>Relax. <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Don&#8217;t allow your worries to ruin your intimate time with your partner. With proper and clear communication with your partner you can stay relaxed and achieve the orgasm you deserve. <\/span> <\/li>\n<li><b>Don&#8217;t worry if you don&#8217;t reach orgasm the first few times.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">  It is most likely due to the fact that you have recently had ostomy surgery and still have to get used to the idea of having to live with an ostomy.  <\/span><\/li>\n<li><b>Get intimate with yourself. <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you have trouble having sex with your partner immediately after ostomy surgery, try autoeroticism. By practicing on your own, you will be able to verify that intimate moments never stopped being enjoyable. Soon you will learn to relax and not let your own worries get in the way. <\/span> <\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><a id=\"inti3\"><\/a>Being and feeling sexy<\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Appearance is not everything, but it certainly plays an important role in intimacy, love, and sex. During intimate moments in the bedroom, you may want to keep the collection system (and perhaps the ostomy itself) out of sight. <\/span><b>Here are some useful ostomy covers and other ostomy intimacy products:<\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><b>Avoid transparent ostomy bags.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">: When having sex (with an ostomy), it is usually more logical to choose an opaque pouch, which keeps body waste out of sight.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><b><\/b><\/li>\n<li><b>Use an ostomy bag cover: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Give your pouch a better look. On Etsy.com you can find many ostomy bag covers.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><b><\/b><\/li>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>Use an ostomy band: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">ostomy bands and belts, are items that ostomates often use during intimate moments. These ostomy products allow you to hide the collection system very well, as well as keep it securely in place. <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Take a look at ostomy belts such as the<\/span><\/i><strong> <i>Stealth belts<\/i><\/strong><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, are very discreet and comfortable. <\/span><\/i> <\/li>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>Use a smaller ostomy bag: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">this will allow you to make your ostomy much more discreet and feel much more secure with yourself. <\/span> <\/li>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>Using an ostomy cap<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">: This is another very viable alternative. Ostomy caps are small in size (about the size of the palm of your hand) and contain a small absorbent padding to prevent leakage and a convenient filter that helps gas escape. <\/span> <\/li>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><strong>Take care of the peristomal skin:<\/strong><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Ostomized people often face even severe skin changes due to improper hygiene routines, which cause itching, pain and make them feel more uncomfortable about showing those body parts in intimacy. With a proper hygiene routine that includes ostomy-specific products, you will see noticeable improvements in your skin, which will remain smooth and supple.<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><b>Specific advice for women with ostomy<\/b><b><br \/>\n<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Try the crotchless underwear briefs. Besides being a very sexy and sensual item to wear, being high-waisted, they allow you to cover the gathering system very well during intimate moments.   <\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Specific advice for men with ostomy<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Try wearing sexy boxer shorts. It can help you feel more attractive. If you want to hide your <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">collection during intimate moments, then opt for boxers or high-waisted briefs, which will cover your ostomy.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/old.farmoderm.it\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/man-in-the-bed_it-1024x683.jpg\" alt=\"man in bed\" width=\"635\" height=\"424\"><\/p>\n<h2><a id=\"inti4\"><\/a><b>Contraception and fertility<\/b><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you are thinking of starting a family (or not!), then we have some great suggestions for you:<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>Contraception and fertility for women with ostomy<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In most cases, ostomy surgery should not affect your fertility. However, if you will face radiation therapy or if the surgery will prevent a future pregnancy, then you might consider freezing your eggs. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you are fertile and looking for a method of contraception, you should know that oral contraceptives may not be ideal now that you have an ostomy. Contraceptive pills are absorbed through the intestines, and since part of your intestines has been removed, the pills may not work. Other contraceptive methods such as condoms, IUDs, diaphragms and injections continue to work perfectly.  <\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>Contraception and fertility for men with ostomies  <\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Most men remain fertile after ostomy surgery. However, if the surgery included bladder removal or extensive pelvic resection, then you may lose the ability to have children. You will still be able to achieve orgasm normally (although<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> most likely devoid of ejaculation). If the surgery or therapy, which you will have to go through, might make you infertile, freezing your<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> sperm is definitely a good option. <\/span> <\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Fertile ostomized men, may continue to use condoms as contraceptives. Alternatively, you could opt for a vasectomy; this requires a surgical procedure with permanent (but still reversible) effects. <\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/old.farmoderm.it\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/Contraception-with-an-ostomy_it-700x465.jpg\" alt=\"contraception with an ostomy\"><\/p>\n<h2><a id=\"inti5\"><\/a>Ostomy and homosexuality<\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Having an ostomy might become an intimacy problem only for some people with specific cases. For example, some ostomy surgeries might involve removal of the lower part of the rectum and anus, which will then be closed. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This may be a problem for homosexual men. Therefore, be sure to discuss this clearly with your surgeon before planning the entire treatment.   <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In any case, keep in mind that sex is not just about penetration, there is much more to it.  <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You and your partner just need to adapt to a new dynamic.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/old.farmoderm.it\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/girls_it-700x465.jpg\" alt=\"homosexual couple\"><\/p>\n<h2>Final considerations<\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Even with an ostomy, sex continues to be very enjoyable. Sexual problems after ostomy surgery are usually not related to the surgery itself, but rather are the result of insecurity, loss of self-confidence, feeling uncomfortable, and worrying about your appearance. <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is normal for these thoughts to cross your mind. After all, your body has undergone some major physical changes.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, this ostomy saved your life and is now part of you, and you and your partner should love it.  <\/span><b><i>Your body is perfect as it is.  <\/i><\/b><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/i><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Initially, sex may not be the best, however, then it will improve. If you accept your ostomy and take a positive attitude toward your intimacy, your sex and love life will thrive and become better than it was before your ostomy. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We will give you practical tips on how to look for a partner without worry. In addition, we will explain how to tell the other person about your ostomy. <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><a id=\"inti6\"><\/a>Frequently asked questions<\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Still can&#8217;t find the answer to your question? We have collected the most frequently asked questions related to sex and ostomy love. <\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b>Does colostomy cause impotence?<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Colostomy surgery is generally not the direct cause of erectile dysfunction. Male sexuality depends largely on psychology. Negative body image, loss of self-confidence, and performance anxiety can lead to erectile dysfunction after ostomy surgery. Worrying about one&#8217;s appearance and performance is usually the main cause of erectile dysfunction post ostomy surgery.   <\/span><\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"color: #333333;\"><strong>Can you have sex in the bathtub with an ostomy?<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yes, however, being in the shower or bathtub will not prevent the discharge of secretions and feces from the ostomy. In case of uncontrollable or high evacuations, we recommend that you keep the bag on you during sexual activity, either in the shower or in the bathtub. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;I will never have sex again &#8211; ever.&#8221; &#8220;Who would want to sleep with a person with an ostomy?&#8221; &#8220;My sex life is ruined. I will end up alone.&#8221; This is probably one of the first thoughts that came to your mind after your ostomy surgery. It is understandable. Now, after surgery, you have a [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[60,94],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6915","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-hints-and-tips","category-ostomy"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.1.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Ostomy &amp; Sexuality: 10+ tips for fearless intimacy - Farmoderm.it<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/farmoderm.it\/en\/ostomy-sexuality-10-tips-for-fearless-intimacy\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Ostomy &amp; Sexuality: 10+ tips for fearless intimacy - Farmoderm.it\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"&#8220;I will never have sex again &#8211; ever.&#8221; &#8220;Who would want to sleep with a person with an ostomy?&#8221; &#8220;My sex life is ruined. I will end up alone.&#8221; This is probably one of the first thoughts that came to your mind after your ostomy surgery. It is understandable. 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